


Stars and Stripes

by spn_beatkid



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Army, Castiel Swears, Castiel cries, Castiel/Dean Winchester Drabble(s), Dean is a soldier, Destiel One Shot, Drabble, Hurt, Hurt Castiel, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, One Shot, Sad, Sad Castiel, Sad Ending, Soldier AU, Supernatural AU - Freeform, casdean - Freeform, destiel au, destiel drabble, sad drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 23:43:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9630179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spn_beatkid/pseuds/spn_beatkid
Summary: From all of the military stuff Cas learned from Dean, one stuck in particular: two soldiers is always bad. Two soldiers in parade uniforms is worse.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this short drabble was inspired by the movie The Messenger.  
> I think I made myself cry with it a little.....  
> Also, imagine if Dean took on Cas's last name... Dean Novak ;-;
> 
> Love y'all! Always keep fighting!
> 
> J.

It is Tuesday, the second of March, and Castiel is pumped. To say the least. He's up since about six am, running around the house like some busy bee. Sweeping floors, dusting off shelves, changing the sheets of the bed. Their bed.

Dean has been gone for almost seven months now. They first said it was a routine. Four months, not more. The for months dragged. Nobody asked when they turned into six. Nobody asked when they turned into seven. That's the way things worked over there: no questions asked. A soldier did what they had to do.

Cas still remembers what it was like to see Dean leave. Once again. In that typical uniform of his: khaki boots, camouflage trouser and jacket, close-cropped hair, duffel flung over his shoulder.   
Cas still feels the touch of Dean's hand clasping on his arm, still treasures the last breath they shared. He can still feel Dean's lips on his every night. He misses him every damn day. And he can't wait to finally, finally get his husband back. After half a year.

Dean will be home in three days and Castiel wants everything to be perfect then. The house, the dinner he plans on preparing, himself. He knows Dean can be giddy a little when he comes back. Kind of on edge. He kisses slower then, more desperate. And it makes Castiel's heart jump every time.

He is pumped for Dean to finally come home - be his home - again. He's even whisteling a little song. He hasn't done that in what feels like ages. He's forever not quite himself when Dean's on a draft. He guesses that's the fate of a soldier's husband: whenever their significant other leaves, they take a part of them with them. To whatever trenches they fight in.

Castiel knows the thought of trenches is old-fashioned and out of date but he really doesn't want to think about what they have to do back there too much. When he walks through the front door, his fingers quickly trace over the lips in Dean's photograph which is set up on a drawer. It's a ritual whenever his significant other isn't there. He touches the picture whenever he passes it.

The dark-haired man has to smile at the thought that soon, soon he'll be able to touch his love again. Feel his roughness and softness under his very own fingertips. He walks around the front porch to pick some flowers growing next to the wooden veranda. He's glad they took down the stars and stripes-banner Dean's father used to put up there soon after the old man died. It looks better like this. Even though they didn't solely do it for reasons of aesthetic.

When Cas looks up from his flower-plucking (literally everything needs to be perfect for Dean) he can see two figures in uniforms walking up to the house. Not the usual camouflage ones. The festive ones. They're still at the far end of the road. From all of the military stuff Cas learned from Dean, one stuck in particular: two soldiers is always bad. Two soldiers in parade uniforms is worse.

There's this thing building up in Cas's chest and his heart knows what it is before his mind does. The flowers fall next to his feet and he rushes into the kitchen to hide behind the counter. That's when his brain knows what it is and goes into nervous lockdown. Maybe, maybe if they can't find him, it's not gonna be real.

Three knocks on the door. Cas tries to breathe. It doesn't work. Another three knocks. Cas realizes his hands are shaking violently. "Mr Novak?" a voice outside calls. It sounds like he has candy cotton stuck in his ears. Jesus Christ, please. Castiel prays for the first time in years.

"Castiel Novak? Hello?" Another call. Cas manages to crawl out from behind the counter so the men will see him if they come in. He can't put this off any longer. He has to know. "Kitchen," he manages to call weakly in a rough voice.

When the men enter and look at him, Castiel knows. He just knows. Before any of them can open their mouth he croaks out a "How?" The younger one rubs his chin. Like Dean used to do. Does. He still does, doesn't he?

"They were on their way to the airport, Sir," he says. Automatically, like a machine. "Their convoi got attacked. No survivors, Sir. They were dead immediately." Cas doesn't realize he is crying until a gross sob leaves his throat. Jesus. On the way to the fucking airport. All those flowers were picked for nothing.

"Our condolences, Sir," the older soldier says. Cas waves him off weakly. He feels drained. Like nothing. Like there's no use.

When they are gone, he sits on the closed lid of the toilet in their bathroom. Silent crying. No sound leaving his throat, only tears leaving his eyes. His mind is a haze of DeanDeanDeanDean. Finally, he manages to break out the name. "Dean." 

And that's when his chest implodes. Because Cas knows his husband will never ever hear him say it again. Will never ever be there to say Cas's name back like it holds the world. Like it means so much more. Their names have becone synonymous to saying 'I love you' long ago. "Dean Dean Dean Dean I love you Dean," Cas sobs silently into the night.


End file.
